(The show opens in the Nothing Nice studio where we see Eric Dillinger and Michael Albertson sporting red polos with silver AWA logos on them. Eric is smiling widely as Michael is already chuckling as the show opens.)

Eric: What? The show's started!

Michael: It's just-- too funny.

Eric: What do you mean?

Michael: I can't believe you're going to wait until the end of the show to tell everyone.

Eric: I have to. We got to build the suspense. Two major announcements, people, but you loyal AWA fans will have to wait until the end of the show to hear them.

Michael: I know. Should I tell them?

Eric: Tell 'em and you're fired.

Michael: Damn.

Eric: Getting into the show we have two guests tonight.

Michael: It's a good thing we didn't have that third one on tonight.

Eric: You're telling me. I think if Andrew O'Reilly had actually shown up to this then we might not have much of a studio left to do our show in.

Michael: Agreed.

Eric: Our first guest has a little controversy in his life--

Michael: --which brings him here, of course--

Eric: --because we love controversy. Welcome RPW Champion Johnny Royal to the show!

"Do you know what it takes to be a hero?"

("Hero" by AIK plays and from the back dressed in a People's Hero t shirt and some jeans. Johnny smiles at the two men and he shakes their hands before having a seat.)

Eric: Welcome to the show, Johnny.

Michael: Welcome.

Johnny: Thanks for inviting me guys.

Eric: Let's jump right into the nitty gritty. Your number one contender, Antonio Romano, got his shot at your belt under less than honorable circumstances, am I right?

Johnny: Yep.

Michael: And how do you feel about it?

Eric: Better yet, what do you plan to do about it?

Johnny: What do I plan to do about it?

Eric: That's what I asked.

Johnny: Well I'm starting to wonder if there is anything that I can do about it. First the punk takes advantage of a tender situation to buy a shot at the most coveted title in RPW because he feels that his holding it for twenty seconds way back in the day makes it rightfully his.

Michael: Twenty seconds?

Eric: You're exagerating right?

Johnny: Well it might've been more like thirty seconds okay. Anyway, the punk comes in after buying his shot at my title and after I showed him that I was the better man he shows just how much respect he holds for the RPW and the RPW title by stealing it.

Eric: And how do you feel about that?

Johnny: Furious, but with the death of Buzz that took a backseat for a moment. Now I have my belt back, but I have to face that scum in the ring once again. You would think that after I beat that minute man the first time he would have had the decency to tuck his tail and run but no, he doesn't get the picture.

Michael: Minute man?

Eric: He did say minute man.

Michael: As in quick draw?

Eric: As in quick draw.

Micahel: Wow Johnny, I thought with a name like the People's Hero that you would be more fluffy bunny, pg 13 and all. Either Romano has really gotten under your skin or my sources were wrong.

Johnny: I'll let you decide.

Eric: Well, how do you anticipate your falls count anywhere match to go when Rhoden takes full ownership of RPW?

Johnny: I see me pimp slapping Romano all over the arena and beating him soundly showing him exactly why I am the RPW champion and he is only known as the Minute Man.

Michael: And what about Jason Reed?

Johnny: What about him?

Eric: Well, he has a free ticket to pick when he wants to face you for your RPW Championship. As far as you know, he could decide that right after you and Romano are finished that he will face you then.

Johnny: Could be.

Michael: Yet you don't seem worried?

Johnny: Should I be? I mean nothing against Jason Reed but until he's shown his intentions I'm not gonna be jumping at shadows. Sure he could do that or he could be a man about it and set a date and a time. Regardless I'll be ready though. I'm a man that doesn't like surprises so in the ring I make it a point to know everything there is to know about my opponent.

Eric: Now I know that this might still be a sore subject, but how are you and the rest of the guys dealing with the death of Buzz? I mean I know that it has to be tragic and all but you guys had the supercard like a month ago. I know that's got to be something that is felt in the locker room.

Royal: Well what can I say? When I first found out about the news I was devastated. Buzz was always a stand up type of guy with me and one that I had much respect for. I just wish that I could take back the part that I had in putting pressure on him. Hindsight is 20/20 though and all I can do now is keep on doing what I'm doing and that's wrestle. I won't even pretend like I'm trying to do it in honor of Buzz but... Well it's like there is a big gap that has left a hole in the RPW roster. Some guys try to pretend that it doesn't matter to them but all of us feel it.

Eric: I imagine, and then just this past Crossfire you guys find out that the RPW has been sold to William Scott Rhoden and Ricochet Pro Wrestling will be the flagship of his new sports network.

Royal: Yeah. It's like news just keeps on getting piled on and then I find out my first opponent under the new regime is Romano once again for the title. Despite the Romano part, this news doesn't seem to be bad though as we've been in financial straits for quite some time now. I can't speak for anyone else but I know that it has helped me to breathe a sigh of relief.

Michael: How so?

Royal: Well you try not to focus on it but it's always there in the back of your mind. Is this our last show or will we have enough funds to continue? It's been like an air hanging around everyone in the RPW ever since about December or so of last year. I promise you that is not an atmosphere that you want to have in your locker room. I mean I've personally decided that regardless what happens, I'm gonna give my best and stay with RPW until either I can't wrestle anymore or the doors close. For a little while there it seemed like it was gonna be the doors closing but with Rhoden taking over it adds financial stability so that all we have to worry about is wrestling and wrestling only. I mean at one point in time I tried to give Buzz a check to help out but ever the professional he turned it down.

Eric: Don't mean to backtrack but you said that it was news that doesn't seem to be bad?

Royal: Well I mean I would be lying if I said that I didn't have apprehensions. You see everyone in RPW knows who I am. They know what to expect from me, what I expect and what they can expect from me. Same thing with Buzz and even to a small extent Rigby and Cohen. Now we have an enigma here in Ricochet Pro Wrestling. I mean I know that anybody can Google Rhoden and you'll get a long list of accomplishments but that doesn't tell us anything about the man. Seriously, what is his plans for RPW? I know that he wants us to be his flagship show but I've been at one extreme with owners that would sell your soul to get a point in the ratings and then I've worked with guys like Buzz who actually cared about his wrestlers. Did we sell the financial demon just to get a tyrant?

Eric: I see what you mean but it really can't be that bad can it? Sure he might have high demands but at least you'll know that you have a job tomorrow.

Royal: Sometimes the best thing that happens to people is to be laid off.

Michael: Wow, you sound pretty strong about it.

Royal: Don't misunderstand me, I plan on staying with RPW for quite some time as I've weathered through the James era and the Rodriguez era but I was just giving some food for thought. Rhoden seems like a godsend and all but is he really?

Eric: And if things don't work out with RPW is there another place within the AWA that you think you could jump ship to?

Royal: To be honest I really haven't checked out much of the other shows in the AWA. I've been focused so much on the ups and downs of RPW that I haven't had the honor.

Eric: As long as the money's right, right?

Michael: I know that's how it is for you.

Eric: Gotta eat somehow. So you're a straight arrow-type, right? Any chance we could get you to say the word fuck for us?

Royal: Not at all.

Eric: Fine, fine. Just thought I'd ask.

Michael: First wrestling show to have Johnny Royal say fuck. History could have been made.

Eric: I've got nothing else to ask you, Johnny, save for the inevitable. One person, dead or alive, you get to punch in the face. Who would it be and why?

Johnny: I would be lying if I didn't say that I had one person in mind and that person got the honor of me punching him in the face at Collision and will get the honor once again in November.

Eric: A true, clean-cut champion, RPW Champion, Johnny Royal. Thanks for coming on the show.

Johnny: Thanks for having me here.

Michael: Later

(Johnny gets up and he shakes both Eric and Michael's hand before he exits the area.)

Eric: Seems like a nice guy, but, y'know, nice guys don't always prosper in this business we live in.

Michael: I think he'll do fine. He's a nice guy, but not too nice. Wait until someone pushes him over the edge, you'll see a different side of that man.

Eric: Well, one more interview to go and then we can get on with the announcements.

Michael: The drama!!!

Eric: Welcome to the show, Team Perfection.

(Out walks Team Perfection members, "Powerhouse" Rick Marshall & "Perfect" Paul Patterson. Rick Marshall is wearing grey sweatpants, with "Powerhouse" written on the left leg & Marshall on the right leg. He's also wearing white sneakers and a wifebeater. Marshall takes time to do a quick pose. "Perfect" Paul Patterson is wearing a taylor-made suit, with imported Italian shoes..the clothing made of only the finest materials. Both men have smiles on their faces, as they shake hands with Eric and Michael.)

Eric: So, first time that we've ever had a tag team on the show. First off, how long have you guys been teaming together?

Patterson: Almost three years. Most of this time was on the Indy scene.

Eric: I made my way in pro wrestling first in the tag ranks and there's a great deal of guys who are always worried about becoming pigeon-holed as a tag team wrestler because they think there's less oppurtunity for them in that division. What're your thoughts?

Patterson: Right now, that's definately become a problem. We're suffering from a lack of opportunities, as tag team wrestlers. Besides ourselves, we have maybe two other full-time teams. There's one team that can be counted on, for the occassional tag match, but not often enough to really make it worthwhile.

Marshall: While there are problems with gaining sufficient tag teams, right now, I personally try not to concern myself about it, anymore then needed. People tend to forget that many people made huge names for themselves in the tag team ranks. Look at the Steiner Brothers. There's the Road Warriors. The Rock-n-Roll Express & Midnight Express. The Hart Foundation. I could go on & on about all the great teams. Some of the guys in these teams were able to use their tag team success to propell them into huge singles careers. Others had awesome careers in various tag teams. To concern myself about being pigeon-holed would be foolish.

Michael: And what about the singles division? Are there ever times you wish you could strike out on your own?

Patterson: Yes & no. Right now, the two of us are trying are hands at singles careers, seeing how things will work out for us. Wether or not we make this a permanent decision is yet to be determined.

Marshall: There are pros & cons to being a singles star, just like there is with being in a tag team. When you're in a team, you tend to spend so much time with your partner that you tend to get on each other's nerves. Small things will bother you, when they normally wouldn't. Being a singles star, however, means that you don't always get regular traveling buddies. Believe me, having someone with you on the road, especially those that you know & trust, can often break the monotany of the road.

I think a nice mix of tag & singles matches are ideal.

Eric: So what are your thoughts on the tag division in RPW?

Patterson: Does RPW have a tag division? *shrugs shoulders*

Marshall: Looks like they barely have a roster, at the time being. I'd be surprised if they can continue operations, at this point & time.

Eric: And how about any other tag teams in the AWA?

Marshall: Far as we're concerned, no one is currently worth the effort. We are the Apex team, not only in the WRF, but in the entire AWA. Put us up against anyone & we'll knock 'em back down.

Patterson: Rick & I are the creme of the crop. No other team in the AWA compares to us. They don't even come close. Looking at these other teams is like checking out an ugly chick....you need several drinks before they start to look good.

Michael: Valora and Mr. Videogame are ranked highly by the EW Zine...

Eric: How about that team? They, in particular, are at the head of competition in WMW as apart of MTL 2. If you guys are as good as you say you are, would you be willing to throw down against them?

Marshall: Top of the ranks at what......4-0? Impressive? Hardly.

Patterson: You don't become impressive by defeating 3 other teams. If you want to be impressive, you need to beat far more teams then that.

Marshall: What we'll do, as an act of generousity, is give these chumps a wrestling lesson, courtesy of Team Perfection.

Michael: If there were tag titles created specifically for the AWA, would you compete for them?

Both at once: Absolutely!

Patterson: Only fools would turn down an opportunity for gold. Not only would potential Tag Titles look good on us, but the boost in pay is always nice.

Marshall: On the practical end of things, I could always use something to hold my pants up. They've been getting a bit baggy on me, as of late.

Eric: All right, it’s that time in the show where I ask my guest my most favorite question. Since there’s two of you, you can take turns. So, anyone you could punch in the face who would it be and why?

Marshall: Jason Deacon. The [censored] sent a tranny hooker to my hotel room, not too long ago. Nearly got handcuffed to the bed. I actually had to escape out the bathroom window, just to protect my cornhole.

Patterson: While we're at it, I'd like to clobber Death Strike, one more time. Butt wipe had us convinced that we were getting the return of Col. DeBeers, Jake "Milkman" Milliman, Earthquake Ferris & other "legendary greats" from Verne Gagne's AWA. I still haven't lived that down.

Eric: All right, guys, thanks for coming on the show and making history tonight.

(Team Perfection gets out of their chairs. Rick Marshall does some poses, for the camera, much like some bodybuilders would do. Paul Patterson does a quick bow, brushes some hair out of his face. Both men walk back off the stage.)

Eric: Are they gone?

Michael: Yep.

Eric: What was up with the posing?

Michael: Got to show off the goods.

Eric: I guess.

Michael: Well?

Eric: Well, what?

Michael: Announcement!

Eric: Oh, yea. First things first, Nothing Nice to Say is looking for a federation to host next month's show. Hopefully we can get multiple guests from around the AWA, but if not at least we're making an appearance at an actual fed.

Michael: And what's the other?

Eric: It's here.

(Eric pulls a book out from underneath the table and props it up so that the camera's can pick it up. On the cover is a picture of Eric Dillinger, one ear and all, with his trademark snarl. The title reads, "This Bastard's Life.")

Eric: My auto-fucking-biography.

Michael: Oh, yea.

Eric: Yea, mother fucker! It's been years in the making. I announced it months ago on the WTF's Xtreme, but since the company folded I haven't been able to do my weekly countdown or give out little nuances about the book, but Tuesday it hits book shelfs. It'll also be available for download through my face book, just follow the link.

Michael: I can see why you wanted to hold that off.

Eric: It's a big surprise. It tells the story of my life and career up until the end of my run as the WTF General Manager. It's got an entire section of pictures through out my career most of which are from my personal archive and have never been seen before. Plus... PLUS the first thousand buyers to order it through Amazon get signed copy. Others bearing my Herbie Hancock have been randomly distributed through out retailers.

Michael: Well, there ya have it.

Eric: This has been Nothing Nice to Say. I'm your host Eric Dillinger and this is Michael Albertson. I have an autobiography and I'll see you next month!